Our 19-week son lived only minutes after birth, but has touched thousands (PHOTOS)
Lexi Fretz
Friday June 14th did not turn out as I expected.
I started the day enjoying a pedicure with the bride to be and very good friend Megan along with her mom Cathy and all of her bridesmaids. We had an enjoyable lunch and ran a few errands and then were headed home to start preparing for the rehearsal. Starting on the Tuesday before I had some mild spotting. It was never anything much and dark brown, a normal pregnancy occurence. I never had any pain at any point. On Friday I noticed that the spotting started to turn a little more pink. When I returned home to gather all of my camera equipment for the rehearsal I decided to call my midwife to see what she thought of the spotting just for my own peace of mind. I knew I was going to be on my feet a lot the next day, probably about 12 hours. She decided it would be best to head to the ER to be checked, again more for my own peace of mind then anything else. I did have a complete placenta previa with Michayla, so we were both a little concerned that it could be a placenta issue again. I called Josh who had just gotten to the park with the girls and he grabbed the girls and headed back to the house.
We left Flora around three and headed to a recommended hospital in Kokomo, which was about 45 minutes away. On the way we called our parents just to give them a heads up. We arrived at the ER and checked in. I could tell that the nurse really wanted me to be over 20 weeks. The policy is that anyone under 20 weeks of pregnancy stays in the ER, otherwise they head straight to OB. I was 19 weeks and 3 days. As we sat in the waiting area there were several pregnant women that came and went because they were over 20 weeks, and there I sat, waiting. We were finally taken back around five and after I changed we found a heartbeat right away. I believe it was in the high 160′s. Hearing the heartbeat immediately put me at ease and I just sat waiting on the doctor to show up. Finally a PA or NP, I can’t remember what she was, showed up and said that the doctor would be back and do a vaginal exam and send me for an ultrasound. Then we sat and waited some more… finally the doctor showed up and said he wasn’t doing a vaginal exam and I would be going to ultrasound, then he left. At this point, it was past 5:30 and Josh had to leave to run the rehearsal since he was officiating the wedding the next day. We were both a little excited that there was going to be an ultrasound and hoping we could find out what we were having. We were scheduled for our 20 week ultrasound when we returned home on Wednesday.
At 6 PM, a new nurse came in and gave me three glasses of water and told me to drink up for the ultrasound and then she left. I put on the tv and started watching 'House Hunters.' I was assuming I wouldn’t be able to finish the 30 minute episode because they would come get me for my ultrasound, but I was very wrong. A few minutes after six I started to feel a few twinges of pain. By the end of the half hour show I knew I was in labor. There was no doubt in my mind, I’ve been through it before. I couldn’t sit in the bed anymore because the pain was too intense. I called for my nurse and she didn’t come. Ten minutes later I called again and she finally showed up. I was bawling my eyes out at this point because of the pain and all of the emotions streaming though me. I was not mentally prepared to go through labor and everything in me was fighting it every step of the way. I did not want this labor to happen yet. When she finally showed up she didn’t seem to believe that I was in labor and said she’d let the doctor know, then left. I have no idea how long until he came back, but all he said was that he would push the ultrasound up and left. I felt like I was put in the back corner of the ER and left to my own. No help, no sympathy, nothing. I was not able to call my mom because there was no cell reception. I could text Joshua because we are both on iphones and I had a wireless signal, but I didn’t want to worry him because I knew he had to get through the rehearsal.
A little after seven Josh left the church, which was about 20 minutes away. I was taken to ultrasound at around the same time. The ultrasound technician was the first person that I felt actually cared about me and was nice to me. Not that the others were mean, but they didn’t give me any more time than they had to. Right away she found the heartbeat for me, which was encouraging. She wasn’t able to tell me anything else. She was very quick with her ultrasound and when she left to talk to the radiologist, she found another lady to come sit with me. We didn’t talk, but it was comforting to know someone else was there. When I went to the bathroom to clean myself up from the ultrasound there was a lot more blood and I completely fell apart at that point. Joshua arrived just as they were wheeling me back to my room. They had someone waiting for him so that he could be brought to me right away. The ultrasound technician made sure he could find me. When we got back to the ER room I had to use the restroom again and when I went in the technician turned to Josh and said, “I’m sorry, and I don’t want her to see me crying, but I will be praying for you” and she gave him a hug and left. It was about 7:20 when I got back to my room.
At this point there was no break between the contractions. They were so intense and just as one finished another would start. I’ve been through labor and I grew up hearing a lot about it from my mother who helped with home births and is now a L&D nurse. I’ve also been in a few births for my photography, so I knew listening to myself that I was at the end. I wouldn’t give up hope yet, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that I was losing my baby. At some point the PA or whatever she was came in and said “your fetus is still viable.” I seriously wanted to slap her. She was at least a little more sympathetic than the doctor who I never saw again. They told me that they were going to send me upstairs and do a cervical cerclage which did raise my hopes some. At this point everything started becoming a blur, I was finally taken upstairs to OB around 8 PM. I was in so much pain I couldn’t tell what was going on around me. Anyone that knows me knows how much I hate needles and have a tendency to pass out. It took them three tries and a lot of blood on my arms before they finally got an IV in. I didn’t care one bit. The doctor checked me and then sat down beside me on the bed and told me that we were going to be delivering our baby. This was the first that anyone had called him a baby.
I immediately started bawling and asking if there was any other option. She was so very kind and very upset that the ER had told me they were going to perform a cerclage. In order for a cerclage to be performed you cannot be in active labor, which I was at that point. I was also fully dilated and my water was bulging. There was no other option at this point. She apologized over and over and was so kind as were all of the nurses. I can’t even tell you how many people were in our room and doing things to me, but I was never left alone and always had someone with me. I was offered some pain medicine which I accepted and the pain started to ease some. It was still very strong during contractions but I was able to relax in between. Joshua left the room to deliver the horrible news to my parents and sisters who were all on vacation in the Outer Banks and his parents back in PA. Our friends Kip & Cathy came from the rehearsal to see if we needed anything and to be with us. Then sweet Megan who should have been focusing on her wedding the next day came to check on us. She was there talking and crying with me when my water broke.
Walter was breech so we were waiting on my water to break on it’s own and let nature progress at its own pace. I don’t remember what time I started pushing, but I was not feeling the contractions anymore after my water broke, so I did have to push several times to get his tiny body out. He was born at 9:42 PM and he was handed up to me as soon as his cord was clamped. I was crying so hard at this point but he was perfect. He was fully formed and everything was there. I could see his heart beating in his tiny chest. Joshua and I both held him and cried over him and looked over our perfect, tiny son. The nurses and doctor left us to have some private time alone with him. Unfortunately, my IV alarm kept going off so my nurse had to keep coming in to check on that, but she was very gracious and apologetic the entire time. Cathy and my sister-in-law Rachel returned to the hospital to bring the items that I needed and were able to hold Walter. We were so thankful that Rachel was also there for the wedding since she took care of our girls so that Cathy and Megan did not need to worry about having two preschoolers on top of everything else that was going on. Sometime between midnight and 1, I had to be taken to the OR to have a D&C because the placenta would not release on its own. There were two ladies that came to be with me and were with me the entire time so I would never be alone. The first thing they did was pray with me, which was so amazing. The D&C went well and I was soon back in my room and sleeping from the medicines and anesthesia.
I cannot say enough good things about my doctor and the nurses that were there with me. They never once mentioned the word fetus. They prayed with me, cried with me and were there for my every need. Even in a time of so much pain I felt loved by them all. They took such absolute wonderful care of us. They contacted the local funeral home and were going to take care of all of the forms and make all of the calls for us to take him home to PA if we wanted. A gentleman from the funeral home came and talked with us about our options and he was so very kind. In the end we did decide to have him cremated. It was the easiest and best option for us. My doctor made every effort to make sure I had all of my questions answered. She even took the time to talk to my midwife personally and gave me her number in case my mom, an OB nurse, had any questions. She didn’t have to do any of that, and I truly appreciated it. We left the hospital with many books and trinkets to remember our son by. They made sure that the girls each had a few mementos to remember their brother by. Shortly after returning home we had a wonderful card that had notes from all of the nurses and doctor that took care of me during our stay. So while I felt abandoned and alone in the ER, the OB area was amazing. They encouraged us to hold and bond with our son. In fact he left our room while I had the D&C and then was back with us until the funeral home came to take him.
I’m heartbroken by the stories I’ve been hearing from people who weren’t allowed to see their child. That would be so absolutely devastating! I held him, cuddled him, while his heart was beating. I held him to my heart, I counted his toes and kissed his tiny head. I will always cherish those memories that I have of him. The next morning, Rachel brought our daughters to the hospital. There wasn’t ever any doubt in my mind that I needed to have the girls in to see their brother. Michayla especially has been so excited about the baby and really wanting a brother. She knew something wasn’t right and kept asking Rachel and then her daddy as he brought them to our room about the baby. She kept asking if the baby was ok and if we could take him home. It took Emma a little bit to comprehend what I was telling her when I told her that Jesus took their baby to Heaven with Him, but she did understand as well. She has bounced back pretty quick though, and besides randomly telling people that our baby died, doesn’t talk about it too much. Michayla on the other hand is a completely different story. She was absolutely devastated and cried and cried. She has been asking so many questions and it’s hard for her when we have to tell her that we don’t know. Joshua still went and performed the ceremony. If I had been able to, I would have still done the photos. On top of everything that happened that was also hard for me, not fulfilling a commitment. I know I had no control and in no way are they upset with me, but it still bothers me.
We still do not know why or how this happened. My midwife has talked personally with the OB doctor that treated me in Indiana. We’ll be getting all of the records and reports as they finish up the dictations and receive pathology reports back. It could have been a cervix issue, maybe a result of some of the damage from Emma’s birth. It could be preterm labor or a world of other things and we may never know why or how. There will be extra precautions taken if we can ever get pregnant again. That is another area that is unknown. We went through so much and many trips to the specialist in Frederick to conceive Walter. So much still to think about… Click "like" if you are PRO-LIFE! I am so very glad that Joshua went to our vehicle and got my camera. At first I did not want any photos, but they are the only thing I have to look back on now. I’m still in shock at how much his photos have been shared and commented on. In his short life of just a few minutes he has touched more lives then I ever could have imagined. I have gotten messages from people all around the country who have experienced a loss or were just touched by his story. I’ve even had a few people tell me that they were able to use his photos to reach out to a hurting woman who was contemplating an abortion. Just because the child within cannot be seen by us does not mean that he is a blob of cells. Walter was perfectly formed and very active in the womb. If he had just a few short more weeks he would have had a fighting chance at life. I don’t understand why the Lord took him home, but I have to trust in his perfect timing. I may never know why, but it is a comfort to know where he is and that I will see him again. For now, he’s with his heavenly father who loves him unmeasurably more than I, as his earthly mother ever could.
If you would like to see some more of Walter’s photos, please visit my website here. Please feel free to share our photos. In all our hurt, I am glad that some good can come out of this. I pray that the Lord will continue to use Walter’s photos to impact many.
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We are pleased to announce the launch of M3MEscala- A boutique condominium complex in Sector 70-A. Designed by Upton Hansen Architecks, UK, the architecture combines functional space and aesthetic beauty in a perfect whole.
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·Contemporary architecture designed by Upton Hansen Architecks, UK;
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·Feature packed club house with gym, party hall and indoor games. Outdoor activities like jogging track, swimming pool, childrens play area, tennis court, cricket pitch and basketball court;
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Ganesh with his family. Every child in the family has a tattoo on their arm, and it's this very tattoo that helped in reuniting mother and son.
Mumbai: It's a story straight out of a Manmohan Desai film in the 70s and 80s, a story of separation and reunion. Only this time, it's for real. The protagonist is Ganesh Raghunath Dhangade, a constable in the Mumbai police force.
It all happened in 1989 when Dhangade boarded a train with his friends and got lost because it was too crowded. He was only six years old, and was unable to go back. He was on the streets of the city, alone and nobody to care for him.
"I cleaned platforms and ate at dargahs and Ganesh mandals. I met a fisherman who took me home. I used to play with his son, Sainath. They used to make me beg on local trains and give me food in exchange for the money," he recalls.
One day, he was hit by a train at CST. He was admitted to a hospital, where he lay in coma for several months. Since no one could trace his family, he was handed over to an orphanage in Worli.
Dhangade went to Anand Ashram in Worli, where workers took care of him, fed him and educated him. He studied there till Std VII and later shifted to an orphanage in Thane, where he studied till Std X.
He then joined Sanket Vidyalaya and Junior College in Thane, and studied till Std XII. He was physically fit and an athlete - he had participated in several state-level and national-level games. His education was funded by Krida Prabodhini, a state-run programme to encourage talented sportsmen.
He then took the police exams, cleared the written, physical and medical tests, and joined the Quick Response Team (QRT) of the Mumbai Police as a constable in 2011.
Where's your family? On July 23, 2011, when seniors were taking introductions from the fresh recruits, Dhangade could only tell them his name. Police Inspector Shrikhant Sonde asked him his family background. "When everybody was introducing himself to me, one constable only told me his name - Ganesh Raghunath Dhangade. He could not give me any other introduction about his family. When I inquired further, he told me had been separated from his parents at the age of six," said Sonde.
Dhangade only knew his mother's name -- Manda R Dhangade -- which had been tattooed on his arm. When he saw parents of other recruits attending in-house functions, it made him miss his parents. He approached his seniors to help him trace his family and they assured him that they would do all they could to help him. They asked him to check on missing records in police stations
The search begins Dhangade asked his friends to help out. "I, along with one of my fellow recruit and friend Sumit Gandhavale, started checking the missing bureau records online and in police stations turn by turn," he says while talking to MiD DAY.
The duo also started a campaign on Facebook and Orkut and contacted everyone with the same surname as Dhangade, but couldn't get any leads.
"One day, I went to the Worli orphange where I had stayed. I met the old mess worker Shamsuddhin Abdul Shaikh, and asked him about my past," said Dhangade.
Dhangade found out that he had enrolled in the Anand Orphange saying that he hailed from the Mamu Bhanja Dargah area. The duo roamed around Mumbai looking for a dargah with the same name. After two months, they finally got their first clue - the dargah was at Lokmanya Nagar, Thane (W).
Reunion On October 4, they reached the Mamu Bhanja dargah in Thane, and asked locals about his mother, Manda, whose name had been tattooed on his hand. They came to know that an old lady by the same name lived on a hill nearby.
Dhangade, along with his colleagues, immediately reached the place, where they found an old lady performing shraddh (after-death rituals).
"We asked her if she had lost her child 20 years ago, and she replied in the positive. We asked if the child had any identification marks on his body, and she told us about the tattoo on the arms. That's when I showed it to her," narrates a tearful Dhangade.
"It was a beautiful moment. Both were in tears. For several minutes, they said nothing. They just cried, but the tears said it all," says Gandhavale, the colleague who helped him all this while.
It's all coming back "My mother told me that I had gone to the Thane Municipal school at Wagle Estate, where I met my friend Ganesh Kharavi. He was going to his uncle's place and asked me to tag along. So we boarded a train, but somehow I got lost in the crowd," explains the elated constable.
He is extremely grateful to his seniors and collegues. "This reunion would not have been possible without the guidance of my seniors, especially Mr Sonde, who told me how to go about the search.
He is happy that he can care for his old mother, who earns by doing house chores, and his two younger brothers, and a sister.
# Scene 1: Boy gets lost, lives on the city's streets It's a scene set in 1989. Six-year-old Ganesh boards a train along with his friends. It is too crowded, and he gets lost. The boy too is unable to go back as he is too young. He roams around on the streets of Mumbai, eating at temples, Ganesh mandals and dargahs. He begs, cleans and sweeps - whatever it takes to fill his stomach. A fisherman takes him home and makes him beg in the local trains in exchange for food. # Scene 2: Train accident, coma, and over to an orphanage One day, at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (CST), Dhangade gets hit by a train. He ends up at a hospital and is in a coma for several months. Hospital authorities aren't able to find his family or relatives, and no one comes to meet him. He is handed overto the Anand Ashram, an orphanage in Worli, where he starts his education. He studies at the Worli orphanage till Std VII and is then shifted to an orphanage in Thane, where he studies till Std X.
# Scene 3: Boy joins police force The boy joins Sanket Vidyalaya and Junior College in Thane. He then takes the police department test and passes. He clears the medical and physical test and joins the force in 2011. When seniors ask him about his family, he has no answers, except for his mother's name, Manda R Dhangade, which is tattooed on his right arm. He starts searching for them.
# Scene 4: The search begins Ganesh and a friend start searching for people with the same surname on social networking sites. He goes back to the Worli orphanage and meets the mess worker, who tells him the registered address in the orphanage books, which is in Thane. # Scene 5: Reunion at Thane The constable and his friend look around for families with the surname Dhangade. He asks locals about Manda, his mother. He finds out that an old lady with the same name lives nearby. Ganesh goes to the old lady and shows her his tattoo. A teary reunion ensues. 'We will finally celebrate Diwali' Manda Dhangade's happiness knew no bounds when she got her son back after 24 years. "I had lost all hope. We never celebrated a single festival since the day he went missing, but this Diwali, we will have a grand celebration," said Manda.
Manda, who works as maid, had tattoos made on each of her children at the age of one. After Ganesh went missing, she went to several police stations in Thane and Bhiwandi. She even went to Children homes but she failed to find her son.
She added, "Every time I visited the police station, I hoped to find some clues, but I never got any leads. There is not a single place in Thane and Bhiwandi that I had not searched."
After 10 years of searching for her son, she lost all hope. Manda didn't recognise her son when he entered. "When he showed me his tattoo, I was shocked. All I did was hug and kiss him," She now spends every single moment of the day with her son. Her first priority is celebrate a grand Diwali, and then to get her son married to a 'nice girl'.
"One should never let their child out of one's sight. Don't be careless while handling children otherwise you'll have to suffer like me. I was lucky and I'm proud that he is in police force," she signs off joyously.
We had not celebrated a single festival since he went missing. But this year we will celebrate Diwali in a grand way - Ganesh's mother
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Road,Gurgaon10 km from Rajiv Chowk NH-8 ,7 km from Subhash chowk ,sohna Road
Gurgaon First Transfer FREE 1BHK Area 630 sq.ft@25.20Lac Onwards.Booking
Amount@2.5Lacs 2BHK Area 1260sq.ft@50.40Lac Onwards.BookingAmount@5.0Lacs CHD Devloper Very Reputed Builder A++, Sector
34,Sohna Road,5 km before GD
Goenka University,3 km before KR Manglam University,SohnaRoad,Gurgaon Hurry up for Navratra Discount Price valid till 20thoct.2013 14 Acre Residential Luxury Apartment
Respected Sir,
Hope you are in the
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In our regular
endeavour to introduce you with great investment opportunities, we present two
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PROJECTS CHD
DEVLOPER
Price list
Type
Size (in sq ft(Covered Area)
BSP@4000/sq.ft
First Transfer
Effective Price
Booking Amount
1 BHK
630
25,20,000
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25,20,000
2.5 Lacs
2 BHK
1260
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Cheque in Favour of- CHD Developers Limited
Payment Plan -CLP,PLP,DP
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Highlights
· Investment Starting in Just 25 Lacs
Onwards
· Granite Counter with Sink and Vitrified tiles
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surveillance with 24x7 power & water back up
·Encompass 60% Green area
· Insulated Walls and roofs with 60% heat reduction.
Mini
Adventure Area,Rock Climbing,Crawlers Area,Rope Walk,Crèche Indoor
Play,Area with Art & Craft room, Wall Painting etc.,Nursery
School,Outdoor Play Area Sand Pits,Kids Splash Pool,Snakes & Ladders
on Floor,Chess on Floor
For the Memories which never Grow Old
Indoor Lounge
for Elderly,Herbal Garden,Aromatic Garden,Meditation Greens,Picnic
Park,Health Park
· Spacious Lift Lobbies High Speed Elevators
with Wide Stair
·Budget Housing - Very Low Ticket size investment
·Payment is spread across 3 yrs approx.
·Sohna is Promising Destination
·Existing Connectivity from Rajiv Chowk ,NH-8 Gurgaon
·Various other projects will be launched in time to come
·Established Builder (with 3 heavy weight projects in Gurgaon)
·Developers Established International Brand Equity, International Partners
& Endorsements.
New Gurgaon are in range of
Rs.5500-7000 psf.
Dwarka
Expressway range of Rs. 6000-12000 psf.
Golf
Course Extension Road price range : Rs.6500-12500 psf.
·All new licenses of group housings & plotted development are going to
come in Sohna; making Sohna the next best Investment & habit destination.
·Major developers owns most of the residential land in Sohna and are
awaited Licenses for Development.
·Moreover, the current govt. has not get any land parcel (density is
exhausted) in past or prevailing master plan where a licence is not given (some
of pending), so the new govt. will try to developer new zones of development
and bring group housing on this belt.
·With a view on most recent developments Sohna, Sohna – Palwal Belt and
Gurgaon – Faridabad belt is looking to be very promising in near future.
·Investors looking at investment in range of Rs.3000- 5000 psf one may
have to look towards Bhiwadi, Rewari or Yamuna Expressway (yes not even Noida
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Explanatory Note on the Draft Development Plan for the Controlled
Area of SOHNA :Haryana Goverment (A) Under Construction Kundli-Manesar-Palwal (KMP) Expressway is passing
through the Town. (B) A 50 Meter Wide Land Strip is Reserved for upcoming ORBITAL RAIL
CORRIDOR. (C) The DEDICATED FREIGHT CORRIDOR (DFC) linking Delhi to Mumbai is
passing through the Town. (D) HSIIDC acquired 1500 acres land for Industrial Model
Township (IMP) between Sohna and KMP. (E) RESIDENTIAL LAND of appx 1719 hectares have been proposed various
Sectors of the Town. (F) COMMERCIAL LAND of appx 255 hectares have been Proposed in various
sectors of Town. (G) INDUSTRIAL LAND naming Rozka Meo and Textile Valley of
appx 89 hectares developed by HUDA on Sohna-Nuh Road. (H) TRANSPORT AND COMMUNICATION ZONE of Appx 627 hectares have been
proposed in various sectors of Sohna. (I) PUBLIC UTILITIES in area of Appx 241 hectares earmarked for future
needs in Sohna Town. (J) PUBLIC AND SEMI PUBLIC Uses has been proposed in an area of Appx 573
hectares in various sectors of Sohna. (K) OPEN SPACES have been proposed in an area of Appx 315 hectares for
refresh living. (L) An Area measuring Appx. 340 hectares have been reserved as 'WATER
RESERVED ZONE' to recharge ever declining water cycle.
